Things You Put In Your Mouth

Today it was decreed: the shape of a food item is of equal importance as the food item itself, or its quality.

When considered at great length this should come as no surprise. Good foods come in three basic shapes:

Circle/Spheres: Apples, chocolate coins, banana slices, grapes, meatballs, etc.

Triangular: Pizza, sandwiches, cheese wedges, etc.

Penis: Bananas, corndogs, popsicles (for more information please see Superbad)



Furthermore
Any food that is already “good” can be made better by transforming its appearance into one of the before mentioned shapes.

Example

A sandwich is a good thing. Nobody dislikes sandwiches. However nobody eats a perfectly square sandwich. Everyone cuts their sandwich into triangles thus making the meal much more nom-able (see above decree).

This rule of triangle shapes does not apply for sub rolls. However sub rolls fall under the penis shape category and thus still follow the general outline of this decree.

Food items which are already bad may, or may not benefit from a shape transformation.

Example

Dog shit cut into triangles will still taste like dog shit. However, I submit that triangular dog shit, will be better than regular dog shit. Improvement does not imply desirability.